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well. I have completed my "real life" duties for the semester and am watching the approaching the holidays with my usual sense of dread and malicious intent. While everyone I know will be headed out with/ to their BF/ GF/ Partner to one or other parents' place and spending time nestled together with each other, I will be in my cold basement, alone with my art supplies--assuming I am sober and conscious. Have I mention how much I hate the f---ing holidays? Starting now through valentines day (feb 14) is one long "sucks to be single" fest for me. It is like having the flesh stripped from both arms, then having both arms stuck into a bag of salt. in case you are wondering I have ALWAYS been single for EVERY christmas, new years, AND valentines day that I have been alive. yeah, I know, "whaaaa- sucks to be you- get over it." In the words of...someone -"Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it!"

On a different note. I am considering taking a break from DA when my subscription runs out in 3 weeks. I am not real happy with the art I have been creating recently. I feel like I am rushing it just so I can post in here in a vain effort to get more pageviews- Which is also failing spectacularly. I would, however, like to thank those of you who have been posting comments and encouragements to me. I still have 3 weeks before I need to make up my mind, so we will see.

Sorry to be so dark and pissey on what should be a holiday of light and joy. The reality is I have it so much better than the homeless and starving I should be more thankful; I guess I am just an ungrateful, spoiled, brat. And I beg your forgiveness for this downer of a post. I am sure that eventually "this too shall pass".

Best.
John
  • Listening to: Wagner, Within Temptation, Kronos Quartet
  • Reading: nothing atm
  • Playing: no time for such fivolities
  • Eating: I knew I was forgetting something
  • Drinking: water, vodka, wine - in strict rotation
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:iconchanteur-de-vent:
Chanteur-de-Vent Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
What can I say... Love always comes unexpected and is always worth all the pain waiting. And it's always better to wait for years and then find the real one and be happy, than spend every year the christmas and valentine day with a new Boy/Girl-friend, just messing around and not being in a sirious relationship, just because you get a boy/girl-friend to show to everyone you can get one. And real friends are also coming unplanned, you can never go and get some, and say that if you don't get any you're a bad person. The only thing that you can tell when you see someone hasn't got a partner is that he's special and not like everybody else. Because normal people can get normal partners, but special people have to wait to find special people as partners. Because normal people are plenty in this world, but special people can't go along with them in a relationship. And I really wish you luck in love and I hope you'll find your special one in 2010.
And I really hope you won't leave DA, because you're a very nice person, with special,not banal art, and I really would like you to stay.
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2010
I know that you are right, sometimes it just escapes me. After a while though you don't think it is because you are special, you think it is because there is something wrong with you.

But, that discussion can wait. I want to thank you for being such a good friend, and also such a great discussion partner and critic of my work. And yeah. I'm going to be hanging around a bit longer here.

Thank you.
:Heart: :rose:
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:iconchanteur-de-vent:
Chanteur-de-Vent Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very very welcome. :hug:
And I really hope that "bit longer" will be alot longer, because I really would like you to keep submitting art and creating. And you're a very good friend too. Another reason for me to want you to stay. :glomp:
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2010
Thank you. you are a very important friend to me. :huggle:

And yes. I shall be here a lot longer I feel. This seems to be my little bit of sanity. I look forward to getting back to creating more art, but sadly fear I may need to let some works go by without comment. I know how much I like comments so I try to comment on the work of others. Sadly that may not be practical.

:rose:
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:iconchanteur-de-vent:
Chanteur-de-Vent Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
As long as you keep creating and get happiness out of that creating, I will be happy for you. :huggle:
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2010
speaking of which... I need to make more art! SOON!
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:iconchanteur-de-vent:
Chanteur-de-Vent Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd say, just go out and search for things inspiring you! :D
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:icontigerlilian:
TigerLilian Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2009
I'm not much for the holidays either. It's always good to take a break. Refresh your mind, and heal from the sting of the "Christmas Spirit". That goes around worse than h1n1.
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ha. I wish I could just stay home on Christmas.. trust me.. anything would be better than the in-laws.. lol.

and I'm just curious, what is your definition of "real life" the words just kinda struck me.
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2010
So, I did not get to ask, What you are studying right now?
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh, Dietetics and Food Management aka Nutrition (with an Art minor, but that doesn't count, since its just for fun and that way I can get into all the classes, lol)
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2010
Very nice. So, if it is not too personal, what are you hoping to do when "you get out"?
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, I have to do an internship for two years, which should greatly influence where I will be working.. I say should because the hope is you get hired at the place you intern. haha.. but most likely I'll be working in a hospital until I can get enough money.. I really want to start my own clinic. Or work in the school system, in the upper levels of the system, lol, where I would be deciding the meal plans for kids and pushing for more PE, etc... fun PE, not boring run around the laps 4 times PE. but we'll see what works out! sooner or later... haha
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2010
I wanted to start up my own theatre, still do. As such I have a great appreciation and fondness for those looking to do their own thing, their own way. Good luck with the Clinic. I am sure you will be able to make it work. Now, with something like that would it be considered a "business" in the sense of getting start up money? or could it be something that there might be grants and the like available for?
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Either.. it depends mainly on what you want to do and how you plan on doing it.... hopefully I'll be able to get some grants (and let me tell ya, the class on writing grants was a BITCH, funny story behind that one though). But if not, we'll see how things work out. I just got married, and my husband is working on his degree in electrical engineering.. (we're transferring to CalPoly next semester, meaning fall. well, he's transferring, I'm taking a short break so he can finish his last 2 years, and we can afford to live.. CA coast SUCKS for cheap housing) so hopefully he'll be pulling in the big bucks so that I'll have some money to pull from.. HA, here's to hoping.
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2010
Well. Here is to hoping then! I have some grant writing experience from my theatre internship(s), and yeah, it does blow. All that work for no guarantees.
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2009
"real life"... It's a hold over from my days of on-line gaming. I use it now as a catch all to identify all of the things I HAVE to do to survive including, work, pay bills, etc. The mundane parts of my life that we all have, whether we want them or not.
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ahhh.. i see... but you said semester, so are you a teacher or a student?
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2009
Teacher, Professor actually, of Theatre Arts specializing in Design and Technical Direction.
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ahh.. fun fun. yeah.. I guess it is good to know the profs hate going to class as much as we do! lol

where do you teach at? I'm at CSU Fresno right now.. (kind of)
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009
Currently I am an adjunct (expendable part -timer) and U of Pittsburgh' s Greensburg (PA) campus. and I shouldn't say we hate class. I just prefer the "lab" portions more than standing and droning on and on (aka, lecturing)
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:iconrainonatinroof:
rainonatinroof Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha.. too true. too true.
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:iconsaaraeliisavaris:
SaaraEliisaVaris Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2009   Photographer
I see nothing wrong with secluding oneself in one's basement with artistic materials. Though I do agree with the feelings of distance from familial matters - it's one of the many things I despise about the holidays. I hate when family members get together once a year for formality's sake to pretend they can tolerate each other, when all they do following such an event is going home and bitching about it.
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:iconoldsoulmasquer:
oldsoulmasquer Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2009
Thank you, i just grow tired of year after year being an exercise in unwanted and forced isolation. But you are quite correct, it IS better than getting together for formality's sake then bitching about it. I'll try to keep this in mind this year. Try not to let the holidays get you too badly either.
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